It has recently come to my attention that I forgot to say how much sugar to put in the hamantaschen recipe!
So that has been fixed.
Today is my faux bro Jason's birthday! Yaaaay Jason!
He's 34!
I'm sure he's really glad I shared that with you!
He's 10 years older than me! Count them, 10!
This means that when he was getting into trouble at 16. I was just an innocent 6 year old.
When he was getting wasted at 21. I was just 11 and watching The Spice Girls Movie.
I could go on... but you get the idea.
So his request for his birthday gift was that I make him a cake like the cake he had as a youth. A cake like the one from the bakery in his hometown of St. Louis. St. Louis the magical place. Where the grass is greener, the sun is brighter, and all dreams come true. A place where they make a Triple layer dark chocolate cake with dark chocolate mouse and dark chocolate shavings. Notice a theme?
Apparently it comes as a surprise to many that I have never made a cake from scratch. Well today, I fixed that.
Start off by making a huge mess
Then just as you are about to forget how many cups of sugar you've already measured hear the baby you're watching start crying.
Calm the baby.
Try to continue making a mess with the baby's eyes on you at all times.
Be at a really crucial part of the baking and then have to answer your phone.
Realize that while you're baking the cakes you could also be making some baby food.
ready, set, bake!
Put the mess you made in the sink. (Side note: I've decided that I like using brown eggs. They feel rustic)
Scoop the baby away for a failed photo together.
See that the baby has gotten tired.
Then head back inside...
AND REALIZE SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY TERRIBLY WRONG
I completely forgot to put the baking powder in.
I got this...
ughuhguhguhgughughughgh
There was nothing I could do to fix it.
So I had to start over.
This means a whole new set of mess to clean.
Isn't it crazy what one tiny little teaspoon can do?
Kinda...they still came out wonky and thin and I think I just don't like the recipe I used.
So while those were cooling I made the mousse.
It has lots and lots of unhealthy things in it.
Therefore it will be delicious.
Oh yeah we were making baby food weren't we!?
grab your immersion blender
and that sweet potato you cooked with the cakes.
cut it in half
and then into cubes
Then give the baby you're watching an ice cube to play with so she'll stop bugging you.
and throw away the skin
add a bit of water
blend!
blend!
Ok that's enough blending
grab your ice cube trays
That's about 6 days worth of veggies!
Why would anyone buy the stuff from a jar?
So the cakes were finally cool and it was time to put the whole thing together.
Plop one down on the plate and slather with mousse
Plop another layer on top of that and slather with mousse
Plop another layer on that and slather with mousse
Slather mousse over the entire thing
Cover with chocolate shavings
And vow never to bake this cake again.
Eh...
Um maybe it will taste good...
It's the thought that counts...right?
That's what Jason said
I forgot to eat lunch. I'm so hungry. I need a nap.
So that has been fixed.
Today is my faux bro Jason's birthday! Yaaaay Jason!
He's 34!
I'm sure he's really glad I shared that with you!
He's 10 years older than me! Count them, 10!
This means that when he was getting into trouble at 16. I was just an innocent 6 year old.
When he was getting wasted at 21. I was just 11 and watching The Spice Girls Movie.
I could go on... but you get the idea.
So his request for his birthday gift was that I make him a cake like the cake he had as a youth. A cake like the one from the bakery in his hometown of St. Louis. St. Louis the magical place. Where the grass is greener, the sun is brighter, and all dreams come true. A place where they make a Triple layer dark chocolate cake with dark chocolate mouse and dark chocolate shavings. Notice a theme?
Apparently it comes as a surprise to many that I have never made a cake from scratch. Well today, I fixed that.
Start off by making a huge mess
Then just as you are about to forget how many cups of sugar you've already measured hear the baby you're watching start crying.
Calm the baby.
Try to continue making a mess with the baby's eyes on you at all times.
Be at a really crucial part of the baking and then have to answer your phone.
Realize that while you're baking the cakes you could also be making some baby food.
ready, set, bake!
Put the mess you made in the sink. (Side note: I've decided that I like using brown eggs. They feel rustic)
cool cakes, cool!
Take your baby outside.
Then adjust the ISO. Aren't you proud Jason!?
Tell the baby you're watching not to eat the grass.
Watch the baby discover her tummy.
and get really excited about it.
Try to grab the grass again.
And then the dog's nasty ball.
Scoop the baby away for a failed photo together.
See that the baby has gotten tired.
Then head back inside...
AND REALIZE SOMETHING HAS GONE TERRIBLY TERRIBLY WRONG
I completely forgot to put the baking powder in.
I got this...
ughuhguhguhgughughughgh
There was nothing I could do to fix it.
So I had to start over.
This means a whole new set of mess to clean.
Isn't it crazy what one tiny little teaspoon can do?
better.
Kinda...they still came out wonky and thin and I think I just don't like the recipe I used.
So while those were cooling I made the mousse.
It has lots and lots of unhealthy things in it.
Therefore it will be delicious.
Oh yeah we were making baby food weren't we!?
the cup for the immersion blender
and that sweet potato you cooked with the cakes.
plop the cubes in
and throw away the skin
blend!
add a bit of water
Ok that's enough blending
Why would anyone buy the stuff from a jar?
So the cakes were finally cool and it was time to put the whole thing together.
Plop one down on the plate and slather with mousse
Plop another layer on top of that and slather with mousse
Plop another layer on that and slather with mousse
Slather mousse over the entire thing
Cover with chocolate shavings
And vow never to bake this cake again.
Eh...
Um maybe it will taste good...
It's the thought that counts...right?
That's what Jason said
I forgot to eat lunch. I'm so hungry. I need a nap.
